Look at this fucking hipster

“You guys, are you worried that we might get too much pussy tonight?”

“Oh, I’m sorry. I got some of my caulk on your wall.”

Look at this fucking love connection.

“Why should I wear a helmet? I already have my lucky flattened dead fox head sewn onto the back of my maroon tuxedo vest.” 

“If there’s one thing I do well, it’s my imitation of a little boy with a high-sugar diet.”

“I’m worried that this briefcase makes me look too professional.”

“Maybe you should search harder.”

“I made this necklace because you said you were a ‘butt man.’”

“I guess I’m the only one excited about Avatar coming out on DVD.”